News - Fact or Fiction

Reading the Washington Post Express on a daily basis, you would think that somethings written about hold some relevence in your life; be it international scandal, national weather or the latest fashions located on the pages right before the comics. Recently I found two articles that held great relevence in my life. One article prooving that news can sometimes "hit the bull on the horns," or should i say deer (i'll explain), and another article prooving that shit doesn't only come from our bottom!

Articles across the nation, during the Thanksgiving Holiday weekend, stressed caution to travelers home to be aware of the wild kingdom's Paris Hilton of animals, the native white tailed deer. Not because they're rich or because they look alike, we're talking brains here. Travelers across the northeastern coast have been encountering deer, by car, more regularly then ever on roads, golfcoarses and even backyards. Shortly after reading these articles, I was driving down a narrow winding road in Baltimore County when my boyfriend, Nick, gasped, "Oh look, a deer."

Now, the first thing I must ask is why people continue to point out these wild animals that we see quite regularly with such awe and amusement. Just two weekends ago we went to see the animals at the zoo and not once did he say "Oh look, a 4,000lb hippopotomus," in fact, we were all quite nuetral about the whole experience. Secondly, the news articles couldn't have been more on point. After slowing down and getting half way passed the deer in our new Corolla, the hairy little retard stumbles into the road and crashes into the side of our car. That's right, I did not hit the deer with my car, the deer hit me. With no record of accidents in 9 yrs of driving, I must say that these articles could not have been published at a better time. Having now hit the deer and peed my pants a little bit, Nick immediatly demands that I pull the car to the side of the road to adminster CPR to the injured animal. Needless to say, I had very little compassion for the animal the made the choice to run into my car, there was a line of cars behind us and I wasn't about to make a specticle out of the incident. Assuming the deer was okay, I ignored Nick and continued driving, with no damage to my car, and now I have a story to tell. This timeliness brings me to the conclusion that, yes, the newspaper does print articles that are factual and relevant to our lives.

Now the second article struck me as huge pile of doodie, considering I had also experienced the subject of the article. In mid October, the group of 6-9 year olds I coach were given the opportunity to hear a "motivational" speaker talk to them about goal setting. Had I know this opportunity was solely a photo opportunity for the speaker's pr specialist to pitch a story to the AP, I would have declined the offer. The speaker introduced topics of sex, drugs, tattooing, buhlemia and bum fighting to the children as a means of communicating different examples of goal setting. Considering the audience was clearly unaware of the subject matter and still working on the definition of a goal, I would say the speaker didn't prepare well before meeting with the children. You can visit the goof balls website at http://www.carolinemiller.com/ or you can save youself some time and watch Beyonce's recent stage catastrophe on YouTube.

(Pardon the delay, this blog was started 10 months ago and recently posted.)

Pictures to Prove

A wedding with burlesque dancers, a singing bride & groom, a stand up comedian, a strip tease and cakes from Food Network's "Ace of Cakes....

...and you thought I was making it all up!

Express Polls Metro Riders

In today's edition of the Washington Post Express, page 44 reveals the answers to a poll that asked, "Which issue should Metro's new cheif focus on first?" Good question, especially since we can only focus on one issue at a time. The poll reveals that a majority of riders would like Metro Costs and Crowding addressed first and a smaller percentage of riders wanted Escalators and Delays addressed. Let's discuss...

I do not deny that costs and crowding are an issue, but isn't crowding the result of delays? How can these related "issues" have two drastically different percentages (33% vs. 16%). If the polled would use their brain for two seconds, or even the people who created the poll, they would realize that having two related "issues" is kind of like an Independent running for office. So, rationally I feel I can begin to hypothesize that delays are the underlining issue that should be addressed first. I continue...



It costs me $6+ dollars a day to ride from College Park (green line) to Tenleytown (redline). What makes my $6 dollars totally not worth it, however, is a 17min delay coming home from work at 7:30pm and having to stumble down one of the longest escalators in the whole metro-system that has been out of service for a week. Other disworths include rude station managers (don't even get me started), nonfunctioning metro schedule boards, dirty floors and stairs, and a crappy information sound system. Can you imagine the choas in an actual emergency? These "issues" are all effects of delays: Station managers wouldn't have to talk to disgruntled passangers if the trains were operating regularly, people wouldn't have time to stand around and litter on the platform if the train came in a reasonable amount of time, etc...

Bottom line - Decrease the number of delays and wait time and crowding won't be an issue, and people will think that current costs are worth their dime. Then deal with the escalators.